The static returns—full and familiar—then something new cuts through, like the rattle of a tractor engine coughing to life.

I’m instantly taken back to my childhood on the farm, where wisdom smells like diesel fuel… and every lesson begins with a swear word.

[Announcer Voice: Young. Worn-in. Mildly impressed with himself.]

Howdy folks… You’ve stumbled onto Back Forty Talk Radio, 1070 AM—where the coffee tastes like motor oil, the air is crisp with a hint of manure, and the conversations are...

The dial drifts on its own now… searching for a different kind of story. It settles on one of those late-night advice shows that somehow only exist after midnight. Tonight’s host: Uncle Tootsie.

The letters are real. The problems are real. The advice… well… that’s another story.

[Announcer Voice: Late-night talk-show host. Warm, witty, and completely unqualified.]

Hi there… and welcome back to Ask Uncle Tootsie here on 103.5 FM. Pull up a chair and make yourself comfortable. I’ll be right with...

The static builds like the whine of a jet engine spooling up, and then, just like that, the frequency locks in. For a half-second, I can almost smell the jet fuel and see that name written on the side of the aircraft.

[Announcer Voice: High adrenaline. Somewhere between fighter pilot and used-car salesman.]

In naval aviation, nobody cares what your mother called you. You get a call sign, and the more you hate it, the faster it spreads through the squadron like food poisoning on deployment.

Here...